somewhere on a pathway, I stop. it’s a tree or a bush delicately blanketed with crisp rain drops adorning the outwardly stretching foliage, the space around it a chance to breathe and cease thinking, if only for a brief few seconds. is it the state of the world, the rhythm of the garden, the prison of my thinking or the endlessly space out to the horizon. this either capsizes my mind or extends it out into new patterns and links, to persevere, to be content, to find new ways of marvelling in the infinity of green, the passage of blue or the intricacy of interwoven detail of our universe.
its been now six months since coming off the streets and soundscapes of Germany, the world and wonder of berlin; an inspiring place to remember the simple, to celebrate in the sounds of nature. A domain to explore and enjoy the many streams of thinking and feeling that beckon on some of its perpendicular and rectilinear streets. Now I feel strung between two worlds, one that explored an urbanised pattern to one of seclusion and isolation back in the forest of my imagination. Allowing this to be the time that it is counts as one of the smaller irritations I feel. There is the could be and what if world as one that is always there waiting, little episodes that last not long and bring the pain of detachment and discontentedness. I am in my own battle to stave them off.
In and out of routine, learning to enjoy time rather than fill time comes as a struggle to me as I seek to make something for myself, itself an illusion of grandure, of becoming something when it is something we already are. I learn that there is no presence like now and that the signs of nature are all there to bring us close to it. The world of distance seems pointless as it offers the same, but it also offers the idea or thought that something better or more exciting lays beyond us, that it is problem of reach or grasp that debilitates me as I ponder through the present. It is a lie to my known happiness and at war with the simplicity of being.
To button up colour or just to express it in its raw terms, the or’s in awe do lead the mind far, do they help us coinhabit the present with all the other still and sublime forms?